Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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