"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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