hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have post one night stand depression
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
