I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
