im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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