I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
