new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
