i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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