Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
