She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
