i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
