fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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