LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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