I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
