I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
