Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
