There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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