Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
