dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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