Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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