Yo dont text me then not text me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
