Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
