We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
