OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
