I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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