He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
