im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
