maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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