Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
