If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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