umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
