Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
We need to rekindle our bromance
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
