Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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