Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
