He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
