So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
