wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
