I CAN MOONWALK!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
