Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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