just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
