So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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