ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
