i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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