At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
