How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
