mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am naked and annoyed.
My bed smells like the plague
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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