will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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