Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
