I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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