you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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