Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
