I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
